achy

I'm in so much pain physically that its not even funny. I get mad easier when i'm in constant pain/sore. Doing soccer with a coach that likes to have us run and weight lifting at soccer is a bad combo...it hurts to just get in and out of my seats. I hate sitting now cause my thighs hurt sooo bad that I just want to stand. Going up and down the stairs is the same. I just hope my soreness will just go away soon. I'm tired of being sooo sore physically. I hope this is good in the long run for me though. I'm still thinking about going into the Navy, BUT in order to even take a paper test i believe that's what it was, I have to be 160 pounds!!!! I was like wtf... lol but my recruiter said that is all depends on how the person is structured too, so after hearing that I felt a bit at ease. I am now done complaining and hope for the best and work even hard lol.

kuyjhgho;lk,

I love him dearly, no matter what happens between us...idk what else to say but the fact that i would give my life for the guy. I just do not know anymore about anything lol.

IDK

There is this feeling that I love him dearly. I would give my life up for him. But we are not meant to be. There are times he shows that he still has feelings for me, but then there are times he doesn't. It does suck that I can only be a friend to him. But I really don't care as long as he if well taken care of. I do that already :). lol. I just think its kinda funny that when I do show that I take care of him, he freaks lol. Like today I gave him his extra early bday present, 100 dollars. lol he freaked the f out lol. I laughed and said here now use it on your schooling you need ;).
I <3 taking care of him for some reason, but then again he is my ex and my closest friend ever. He is the only person I have ever actually asked a really weird awkward questions too lol. Well i thought it was awkward xD. I could go on and on about him but you prolly are bored now lol. But no matter what happens between us, I just can not seem to get rid of him when maybe i should have, but then again I do not think he would deserve it.
I do cross the line with certain people tho. Only two people are on my pure hatered list. lol. Which means I do not care at all on if they are alive or dead. That seems really harsh, but what can you do when they f with your close friends by trying to get them into trouble, lie, and alot of other crap. Especailly when you mess with me about my ex. You can not just randomly call me one day and say your going out with my ex, when he doesn't like you at all and you kept on about it. That just DOESN'T work with me. Heck I could go on and on about this ONE girl, but I shouldn't cause it would get ugly lol. :)
Ya I think i feel better now lol.

National Guard

I really want to go into the National Guard. There are things I would have to give up on seeing for quit some time tho... That is the only part I have trouble with. I do not know if i could handle not seeing certain ppl for a bit or so. Tomorrow I will be getting more info about how long I will be away. I have not put any papers in to get enlisted, maybe its a good thing for now. My teacher is getting more info for me sense he is an officer. If I enlist I will be able to get free credits towards college and money towards it too. I mostly want to go into it cause I love doing physical work. I would rather do that than write stuff lol. But most likely I will have to write stuff when I get in there too lol. Oh well :). I already thought of one way to get through all my training I will have to go through. I just have to keep thinking about the person I love. Another down part about it is that I will prolly get deported or whatever you call it D:. But if its to keep the ones I LOVE then I will do whatever it takes. But an up side would be me finally getting into shape lol xD. This is all prolly not making sense lol.
I <3 you :3

Some ppl are just UGH

Maybe its just me, but I do not like it when people dis on my CLOSEST friend. I can not be very mad at the person if they do not know how I feel about him. But she knew I was still friends with him. Shes just one of those people who do not know when to keep their mouth shut up about certain things! And then the next thing i know she says having sex is an automatic deffinition of being a whore! Not really if you plan ahead on it and stay together as a couple and not just mess with a lot of different people.. Ya waiting until after your married is best, if your wanting kids. But my friend is not wanting kids at the moment. So she basicly was calling her a whore! UGH!